Progress Not Perfection

I have discovered the way to overcome crippling perfectionism - the lit review.

The process of doing a literature review would normally be rather enjoyable: reading everything you can about a topic; total immersion; develop your own spin on the material. I cannot say that the last couple of weeks have been enjoyable. They haven't. They have been quite stressful but I, and my fellow doctoral students, have kept trudging ahead, one painful step at a time. We have stumbled and skinned a few knees along the way. I, for one, have consumed countless Tums and used up several bottles of lubricant eye drops. But, and what matters the most, I have learned. I have learned how much I didn't know and while it is comforting to know that I am growing and gaining expertise, the catastrophizer in me wonders what I still don't know and, if I don't find THAT article, will I look like a fool when writing my dissertation.

I must keep reminding myself that growth is painful. If I am making progress (even when that involves some steps backward), I'm doing ok.

This week I continued reading, finding new articles, and annotating. The outline for my Review of Literature was well-received and I was grateful for the reminder that it will change. As I write and read and synthesize and ruminate, as I grow, the outline will change. And it has.

Writing is the hardest part for me and forcing the first rough (very rough) draft out of me hasn't been a pretty sight. It is due tonight and it is far from complete. However, I am going to keep making progress, step by step, inch by inch, and seek the goal of progress and not perfection.

I began writing by trying to grab information from my very detailed annotations, plugging them into the outline. It wasn't working for me. I know what I've read and how it has helped me shape my thinking on my topics (i.e. self-directed learning, teacher professional development, and open digital badges). So, I decided to take advice from a friend to put the annotated bibliography aside and just write. Write my take on the literature. I know that what I write is backed up by the literature and I know that I will be able to cite those sources by digging into my notes but, for now, I write. My first draft will not be complete but it will represent progress. Progress, not perfection.

What comes next? No time to rest on my laurels. The second draft is due in three days, peer reviews are due in one week, and the final version (final version for this class, not the dissertation) is due in 11 days. Luckily, my schedule is not as full for the next 9 days so this can get a good bit of my attention when I'm not at work. I fear those final two days because on July 1st I drive to Louisiana to visit family and July 2nd I will be IN Louisiana. However, I do look forward to turning in that final assignment on July 2nd, having this course in the "DONE" column. That will make Independence Day weekend feel even more free.